When They Say “I Support Inclusion, Just Not at Work”

We’ve all met them. Colleagues who believe in fairness, equality, and doing the right thing, but who get visibly uncomfortable when diversity or inclusion shows up in a workplace context.

They’re not hostile. They’re hesitant. And if you push too hard, too fast, they shut down.

So what do you do? You shut up. So they don’t.

That’s the zinger I use on stage, and it applies here more than ever.

Because these conversations aren’t about convincing enemies. They’re about collaborating with people who are already halfway there, but risk-sensitive. People who need a bridge, not a lecture.

First: Mindset Matters

Before you even open your mouth, check your assumptions. This isn’t a debate. It’s a design process.

🧠 Assume goodwill. Treat your colleague like an ally who’s weighing risk, not an opponent who’s rejecting values.

👂 Lead with listening. Ask, “What’s your concern?” before jumping in with a solution.

🤝 Design together. Offer a small, specific experiment they can own, not a manifesto they have to sign up for.

The Objection Playbook

Here’s how to reframe common concerns in a way that lowers defensiveness and raises curiosity.

🎯 “Work should be apolitical.” “Totally get that. Hiring, safety, promotions, these are already choices. Let’s just make them transparent so work stays fair and calm.”

🛠️ “HR handles this.” “HR sets the policy. And you and I run the meetings. Let’s tweak how we run them so people contribute faster and with less confusion.”

⏱️ “We don’t have time for this.” “Same here. That’s why this isn’t a new meeting, it’s 60 seconds inside the meetings we already have.”

💥 “Talking about identity will divide us.” “I hear you, I'm not one for heavy topics, let’s just tune our process, for example one voice at a time and one new voice before seconds. Two weeks, then we keep or drop.”

⚖️ “We already treat everyone the same.” “Love that. Let’s prove it. We’ll run a simple turn-taking rule and a decision checklist. Then see if speaking time and follow-ups are balanced.”

What Not to Do

❌ Don’t debate ideology. Stick to tasks, risks, and results. Inclusion is a workplace design challenge, not a political identity.

❌ Don’t data dump. One stat or story is plenty. This is about engagement, not evidence.

❌ Don’t moralize. Co-design the experiment. Give them ownership of one step. That’s how you build buy-in.

It’s Not About Belief. It’s About Behavior.

You don’t need your whole team to become DEI experts. You need them to test what works.

And most of the time, inclusion isn’t about more meetings, bigger policies, or splashy campaigns. It’s about small, repeatable actions that reduce friction and increase trust.

So the next time someone says, “I’m all for it… just not at work,” Don’t argue.

Invite them in. With one small step they can try, own, and refine.

Because when inclusion becomes a shared experiment, not a moral performance, everyone moves faster.

P.S. This playbook isn’t for the people who say inclusion is nonsense. It’s for the people who believe in it but feel cautious, unsure, or overstretched. Let’s give them tools that meet them where they are.

Love & Kindness: Life lessons from my mom, part two

When I asked my mom to write down the top 10 life lessons she wanted me to remember, she gave me 113. Her list is a mix of quotes, memories, and deeply lived values—gathered from books, friends, films, her kids (hi 👋), and the messy, magical process of being human.

In my last article, I explored the first theme that emerged: Joy, Humor & Curiosity. This time, I’m writing about the second top-voted theme from that poll: Love & Kindness.

Her reflections don’t offer grand theories. They offer ground-level truths, the kind you actually want with you when things get hard, or tender, or real.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Listening is Love

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen.” - Cathy Giannoumis

For my mom, love doesn’t begin with action. It begins with attention.

She’s the kind of person who listens like it’s a skill, not a habit. And growing up, I realized how rare that is.

Listening is how we say: You matter. I’m here. I care. It’s one of the most powerful kinds of kindness, and the least practiced.

The Everyday Miracles of Kindness

“Things can change so entirely in a heartbeat. The world can be made entirely anew because someone was kind.” - Cathy Giannoumis

Kindness is her currency. Not the “random act” kind, but the steady, intentional kind.

Holding the elevator. Remembering your coffee order. Sending a text at the right moment.

She believes the world changes, not through big declarations, but through small, consistent kindnesses that slowly rewire how we trust each other.

Helpers Make the World Go Round

“In any tragedy, look for the helpers, you will always find people that are helping.” — Mr. Rogers

This one shows up in every tough moment of our lives.

My mom taught me that even when the news is bleak, or the systems are broken, or the grief feels unbearable, there’s always someone helping. Always someone trying to hold the world together with duct tape and kindness.

And that’s the kind of person she wanted me to be. One of the helpers.

Real Love Isn’t Flashy

“Family are the people who care about you.” - Cathy Giannoumis

Love, for my mom, is not dramatic. It’s not a speech or a social media post.

It’s doing the dishes without being asked. It’s staying up to talk even when you’re tired. It’s giving someone the best bite off your plate.

She never talks about love as an emotion. She talks about it as a responsibility. A rhythm. A gift you give because someone matters to you, not because they earned it, but because they’re yours.

The People Who Loved Us Into Being

“All of us have special ones who loved us into being.” - Mr. Rogers

“Inside each of us we preserve the fingerprints of those who taught us how to love.” - The Phone Box at the Edge of the World

This may be my favorite lesson of all.

We are who we are because someone showed us how to be loved. Someone saw us before we saw ourselves. Someone lit the first lamp and walked with us until we could carry it on our own.

For me, that someone is my mom.

Be Gentle. Everyone’s Carrying Something.

“We are a world of broken people. Let’s be kind to one another.” - Cathy Giannoumis

It’s easy to armor up in the workplace, online, even with people we love.

But my mom believes softness is a form of strength. Not everyone gets to be open. Not everyone has the support they need. So if you do? Extend it.

Don’t save your kindness for a special occasion. Use it daily. Lavishly. Freely.

P.S. This is the second (and final) article in a two-part series based on the 113 life lessons my mom shared with me. If you missed Part 1 on Joy, Humor & Curiosity, you can find it here.

Thank you to everyone who voted in the poll! And Mom, if you’re reading this: thank you for loving me into being.

When the New Boss Doesn’t Know You (and Why That’s a Problem)

In my recent piece on the bias loop, I talked about the challenge of being forever seen through the lens of your “year one” self. A dear friend and colleague added an unexpected twist:

Sometimes the bias loop runs in reverse.

You can be in the same company for years, even decades, but when leadership changes, you suddenly find yourself perceived only through the narrowest, most recent snapshot of your career.

When the Story Shrinks

My colleague has seen this dynamic firsthand. After years of delivering high-profile campaigns, strategic wins, and leadership results, a shift in leadership meant that some of their new colleagues didn’t have the full picture of their background.

It wasn’t malice, it was mechanics. New leaders arrive, established networks shift, and the corporate memory of your skills and achievements naturally fades. The result? People may make well-meaning assumptions based on recent work alone.

Why It Matters

For some, that gap in recognition can quietly erode confidence. Talented colleagues may feel less visible. They may hesitate to stretch into new opportunities. And over time, this can make it harder for teams to hold onto their best people, not because they lack ability, but because their contributions aren’t fully seen.

The Missing Leadership Skill

This isn’t about onboarding new hires, it’s about onboarding new leaders to existing teams.

When a new team member joins, we share their skills, background, and accomplishments. But when a leader inherits a team, we rarely do the same in reverse. Without that process, assumptions fill the gap. And as they put it: “These assumptions become their reality.”

What Leaders Can Do

If you inherit a team, your first job isn’t to set direction. It’s to understand what you’ve got. That means:

• Do a skills tour – not as an interrogation, but as a curiosity exercise. Let people tell their own professional story.

• Update the internal narrative – share what you’ve learned about your team’s capabilities with others who may only see them through outdated lenses.

• Resist the recency trap – don’t judge someone solely by their last 6–12 months if reorgs or resource shifts have taken them out of their core work.

• Keep the values conversation alive – shifts in focus or priorities can leave people questioning their place; leaders can help by making those changes explicit and inviting dialogue.

The Whole-Person View

The real leadership competency here is what I’d call seeing the spectrum of the person’s experience. Your team isn’t just their current project list or job title, they’re the sum of their skills, experiences, networks, and values.

If you don’t see the whole person, you risk underestimating them and missing opportunities to fully leverage their strengths.

And as my colleague reminded me, even senior leaders sometimes have to reintroduce themselves. The difference is that experience gives you the confidence to “just do it” rather than wait for permission. Not everyone has that confidence yet, which is why leaders have a responsibility to build it by seeing and valuing the full story, not just the latest chapter.

P.S. This article is a companion to my earlier piece on The Bias Loop. That one explored how people can get stuck in outdated perceptions from their early days in a role. This one looks at the reverse, when new leaders inherit a team and only see a fraction of the story. Together, they’re a call to action for leaders to refresh their perspective, rebuild trust, and make sure the talent they have is the talent they truly see.

How Generational Gatekeeping Stalls Inclusion

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I invited my network into something new: a collaborative research project on inclusion. I asked a simple question:

What questions should we be asking leaders about inclusion today?

Putting something like that out publicly is always a little vulnerable. You never know if it’ll resonate or just disappear into the feed. But this time, it landed. Colleagues commented and reposted and everyone added thoughtful suggestions for what kinds of questions I could consider. It was generous, helpful, and exactly the kind of engagement I was hoping for.

Then Dr. Karl entered the comments.

He was someone I’ve respected for years - a long-standing leader in human rights. Someone who’s done real, meaningful work. But instead of offering support or insight, he took the opportunity to remind us all how long he's been doing this work. How many programs he's run. How he's been in the field for nearly 40 years. No links. No resources. No curiosity.

Just credentials. Just legacy. Just... flex.

The Emotional Fallout

The second I read his comment, my stomach dropped. I felt like garbage.

Suddenly I wasn’t a researcher inviting collaboration. I was an intruder in someone else’s domain. I felt small, ashamed, like what I was doing didn’t matter. Like I shouldn’t have posted at all.

And here’s the thing: this wasn’t the first time.

When I worked in inclusive design, it happened there too. I’d share a new initiative, a new tool, or a small research win only to be met with private messages from older advocates telling me they’d “been doing this work since day one.” Some even implied they’d invented the concept. Not once did they offer a link. Not once did they ask what I was doing or how they could help.

It wasn’t mentoring. It wasn’t support. It was a power play.

When Leadership Becomes Gatekeeping

There’s a pattern here and it’s not a flattering one.

Inclusion work attracts people with deep values and long histories. That’s a strength. But when experience turns into entitlement, and legacy turns into ego, we lose something vital: empathy.

Too often, senior leaders especially in fields like human rights, inclusive design, or gender equity lead with their résumés instead of their curiosity. They respond to emerging work not with encouragement, but with condescension.

And they end up silencing the very voices they claim to have fought for.

The Missed Opportunity

That comment could have been something else entirely. He could have said:

“Hey, I’ve worked on something similar, want me to send you a survey instrument we used?” “Your project sounds great. Curious what angle are you exploring?” “Would love to collaborate or share insights. Let me know how I can help.”

Even an ounce of humility would’ve changed everything. Instead, I got a reminder of the pecking order.

What Leadership Could Look Like Instead

I’m Gen X. Some of my most impactful mentors are Gen Z. I’m a huge advocate for reverse mentoring because I believe leadership isn’t about hoarding knowledge, it’s about sharing power.

The best leaders I know:

• Ask questions before offering answers

• Support new work without needing the spotlight

• Offer tools, not just titles

• Practice allyship, not authority

Inclusion means more than inviting new voices. It means letting go of the need to dominate the mic.

Lesson Learned

If your experience doesn't come with empathy, you're not leading. You’re just standing in the way.

P.S.

To every emerging leader who's been met with ego instead of encouragement: Keep going. You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.

Let’s build a leadership culture that shares, collaborates, and uplifts across every generation. 👉 inclusiveleadership.solutions

Joy, Humor & Curiosity: Life Lessons from My Mom

A few weeks ago, I asked my mom for her top ten life lessons.

She gave me 113.

Yes, that’s my mom, Cathy. The kind of person who can fill your plate with more wisdom than you thought possible, and somehow make it feel light and joyful. She’s also the kind of person who’s ended up as the hero in more than one story I tell on stage. (If you’ve seen The Printer Story, you know what I mean.)

I grouped her 113 lessons into four themes and asked all of you to vote on which one I should write about first. It was close, but Joy, Humor & Curiosity edged out the rest.

So here we are.

Joy Is a Practice, Not a Perk

"Happy is as happy does. Cooking makes you happy? So cook! Reading makes you happy? Read! Football, opera, art makes you happy? So play, sing, paint. Life is there to be enjoyed!" - from an Italian cookbook, via Mom

We tend to think of joy as something that happens when the conditions are right, the big win, the perfect holiday, the milestone moment. My mom lives as though joy is a decision you make daily. In leadership, that means not waiting for the “perfect quarter” to celebrate your team. Bake joy into the process.

Ice Cream Is Important

It’s one of her shortest lessons, and maybe the most profound:

“Ice cream is important.” -Stuart Little, also via Mom

Not everything that builds culture and connection has to be deep or strategic. Sometimes it’s just making space for a shared laugh, a coffee break, or a scoop of strawberry gelato.

You’re One of a Kind, Own It

"Most of the beautiful things in life come by two’s and three’s, by dozens or thousands. Lots of stars, sunsets, seashells, rainbows, mountains, trees, roses, but only one unique and unrepeatable you."

Leaders often talk about authenticity as a buzzword. My mom lives it. Being genuinely yourself doesn’t just feel good, it makes people trust you.

Happiness Has No Expiration Date

"Be happy. It's not that hard. You have a million things to be happy about. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will always have your whole life ahead of you. That never stops and you shouldn't forget it." - Bill Bryson, via Mom

Your life ahead of you isn’t a fixed span, it’s every moment you haven’t lived yet. That mindset changes how you show up in the present.

Don’t Hurry, Don’t Worry

"We’re here for such a short time."

In high-pressure environments, leaders tend to push for more speed, more output, more urgency. But urgency without joy burns people out. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your team is to slow down.

Remember You’re Alive

"Take a moment from time to time to remember that you are alive. I know this sounds a trifle obvious, but it is amazing how little time we take to remark upon this singular and gratifying fact." - Bill Bryson, via Mom

This isn’t about gratitude journals or elaborate mindfulness rituals. It’s about noticing the air in your lungs, the warmth of your coffee, the conversation with your colleague that made you smile.

Find Awe in the Details

"The secret of happiness is to enjoy the present, without regretting the past or worrying about the future." — Amelia Peabody, via Mom

And then there’s her list of tiny marvels:

15 minutes a day is 91 hours in a year.

A honey bee can flap its wings 200 times.

The fastest snail travels 1.3 centimeters.

“Will you marry me?” can change a life.

If you look at the stars long enough, they shrink your troubles down to size. - Nathaniel Bowditch

It’s hard to stay small-minded when you remember how big and how intricate the world really is.

The Leadership Connection

Joy, humor, and curiosity aren’t “nice-to-haves” for leaders. They’re culture shapers. They make teams resilient, creative, and willing to take risks together.

And if you need a reminder, keep this one from my mom in your back pocket: Ice cream is important.

P.S. I’d love to hear from you. What’s one small, joyful thing that keeps you grounded?

Can We Make James Bond an Ally?

James Bond is the worst kind of teammate.

He seduces colleagues, breaks protocol, refuses backup, and dismisses authority, unless it comes from an old white man named M. He drinks on the job. He uses charm as a weapon. And when women say no, he hears it as negotiation.

Let’s be clear: Bond isn’t just problematic. He’s a walking symbol of white male privilege.

In Goldfinger (1964), Bond pins Pussy Galore to the ground in a barn until she stops resisting. In Thunderball (1965), he blackmails a nurse into sex. Throughout the franchise, his relationships with women blur every boundary of consent, agency, and dignity.

And yet, he’s iconic.

He’s celebrated as the embodiment of cool. Stoic under pressure. Loyal to the mission. Dressed to kill, literally and metaphorically. For generations, Bond has been the aspirational archetype of masculine success, especially in industries like defense, intelligence, finance, or tech, where individual brilliance and bravado still hold sway.

But here’s the question I’m interested in:

If we’re serious about inclusive leadership, what do we do with Bond?

Do we cancel him? Shame him? Mock his outdated tux and toxic charm?

Or… do we meet him where he is?

The Redemption Frame

Let me be clear: inclusion doesn’t need Bond. But if inclusion wants to reach the people who still idolize him, then it needs better strategies than moral superiority.

If we want culture change, we have to stop preaching to the choir. We need to learn how to translate the values of inclusion into incentives that make sense for people like him.

So let’s try it.

What drives Bond? Adventure. Excellence. Style. Loyalty. Resourcefulness. Charm. Mastery.

Now look at the values we associate with inclusive leadership: Empathy. Collaboration. Humility. Equity. Active Listening.

At first glance, these live in different worlds. But lets dig deeper, I think the overlap is surprising.

🎯 Mastery → Empowerment

Bond wants to be the best. Inclusive leadership demands it, but not just at the individual level. Real mastery today means building teams that outperform because everyone has a voice.

🕶️ Charm → Empathy

Bond’s charisma works in one direction: manipulation. But if he learned to listen with curiosity, not just charm with intention, he’d be a better agent and a better human. Emotional intelligence isn’t weakness, it’s power with range.

🧠 Resourcefulness → Flexibility

Inclusion often looks like adaptability in action: reading the room, shifting strategy, recognizing when a different voice needs the mic. That’s espionage 101. He’s already halfway there.

🧭 Bravery → Advocacy

Bond thrives on risk. But the bravest move he could make today? Challenging his peers. Defending someone who’s been marginalized. Using his power to change systems, not just survive them.

So Can We Make Bond an Ally?

Maybe. But not by making him feel ashamed. Not by lecturing him on terminology.

We reach him by showing that inclusive leadership doesn’t dilute his strengths, it sharpens them.

We offer him a new mission: to use his brilliance, loyalty, and courage not to dominate others, but to elevate them. To stop seeing inclusion as political correctness and start seeing it as the next level of operational excellence.

We don’t need Bond to be soft. We need him to evolve.

Because leadership today isn’t about commanding fear. It’s about earning trust. And trust doesn’t come from secrecy, seduction, or strength alone. It comes from presence. Listening. Accountability. And the willingness to change.

P.S. This article isn’t really about Bond. It’s about the millions of people who still admire him. And if we want inclusion to win, we need to stop writing off power, and start rewiring how it works. Let's make room for redemption. Even in a tux.

Culture Clash or Leadership Crash?

When leadership fails in international teams, we often blame the culture clash. But what if the real issue isn’t cultural difference, it’s leadership inflexibility?

Okay. Bear with me.

A common myth in global workspaces is that leadership is somehow “neutral.” That if you’re a good leader in one context, your skills naturally transfer across borders, languages, and cultural codes.

But that’s not how leadership works.

Because leadership is never culturally neutral. It’s homegrown, rooted in the values, norms, and procedures of where we learned to lead.

And in international teams, that’s exactly where the trouble begins.

Scandinavian Style Meets Global Reality

Take Scandinavian leadership as an example. It’s known for being flat, consensus-driven, and informally human. Great qualities, especially within teams that value egalitarian dialogue and independence.

But drop that same style into a context that expects hierarchical clarity, formal decision-making, or direct communication, and suddenly it looks… passive. Vague. Ineffective.

This isn’t just a Scandinavian problem. It happens everywhere.

For example, my American assertiveness oftentimes clashes with Nordic modesty.

None of these styles are wrong. But they become liabilities when leaders mistake them for universal best practices instead of culturally specific norms.

Leadership That Doesn’t Adapt… Fails

We don’t just lead across time zones. We lead across expectations, assumptions, and invisible rules. And that means being a “good leader” in one context doesn’t guarantee anything in another.

What works with your home team might flop with your global team. And if you don't pause to understand that - if you don't unlearn before you lead - you’re not bridging cultures. You’re just imposing your own.

The Fix Isn’t Fluency. It’s Flexibility.

You don’t need to master every cultural nuance to lead well across cultures. But you do need to let go of the idea that your way is the way.

Here’s a simple framework to start:

🎧 Listen First. Don’t assume silence means agreement or that pushback means disrespect. Understand the norms before you interpret the behavior.

📍 Name the Norms. Be explicit about how decisions are made, what feedback looks like, and how conflict is handled, then invite conversation around it.

🔄 Stay Flexible. Adapt your leadership style based on what the team needs, not what you’re used to.

🧭 Lead with Humility. It’s okay to get it wrong. But the real credibility comes from how quickly you’re willing to learn and how visibly you’re willing to adjust.

Global Teams Deserve Global Leaders

If you want innovation, resilience, and trust in a global team, then your leadership needs to meet people where they are - not where you’re comfortable.

So the next time a team dynamic feels off, ask yourself: Is this a culture clash? Or is this a leadership crash waiting to happen?

P.S. These cultural misalignments aren’t a sign of failure. They’re an opportunity. If your leadership team is navigating global complexity, let’s talk about how to build inclusive practices that span cultures and performance metrics.

Why Maturity Gets Misjudged in the Workplace

You know that feeling when you return home, and, no matter how much you've grown, your sibling still teases you like you're twelve? My brother and I do it every time we see each other. We can cut through four decades of growth with a single eye roll or joke, and suddenly we're back at the kids' table.

That’s not just family dynamics. It’s a blueprint for something that plays out in professional life too. A phenomenon I call the bias loop, when someone’s early missteps or immaturity at work become their permanent label.

And once it sticks? Good luck growing past it.

The Problem Isn’t Growth. It’s Perception

Plenty of people mature. They gain confidence. They build skills. They evolve. But often, their team doesn’t see it.

Managers remember the awkward presentation, not the polished one, six months later. Peers recall the meltdown, not the recovery. And over time, even the maturing professional starts to believe that version of themselves is the “real” one.

It’s like emotional muscle memory. We snap back into our old roles because that’s the role everyone still expects us to play.

The Cost of Frozen Perception

This isn't just frustrating, it’s organizationally expensive.

• High potential staff stay stuck in junior positions because “they’re not ready”, even when they clearly are.

• Team dynamics stagnate, with little room for people to shift, adapt, or lead in new ways.

• Retention suffers, as employees realize the only way to be seen differently is to leave entirely.

It’s not a performance issue. It’s a perception trap. And the longer someone stays on the same team, under the same manager, the harder it is to escape.

Why It’s So Hard to Reset

The workplace often rewards narrative consistency over human complexity. That’s why it's easier for an external hire to be seen as “leadership material” than someone who’s grown quietly over five years inside the company.

And it’s why so many smart, mature, emotionally intelligent professionals leave. Because they have to go elsewhere to be taken seriously.

What Organizations Can Do to Break the Bias Loop

🌀 Rotate roles or teams more intentionally. Give maturing employees the chance to reintroduce themselves to new colleagues with a clean slate.

🎯 Train managers to revisit old narratives. Feedback shouldn’t fossilize. Equip leaders to periodically re-assess strengths and name growth when they see it.

🗣️ Normalize self-reinvention. Encourage employees to reflect publicly on how they’ve grown. Let them own their evolution, rather than hoping someone else notices.

🤝 Make space for “re-entry.” Offer internal candidates the same curiosity and openness you’d extend to an external applicant. Ask, “Who is this person now?” not “Who were they back then?”

Everyone Deserves the Right to Outgrow Themselves

We talk a lot about inclusion in terms of who gets in the door. But inclusion is also about who gets to grow, who gets to change, and who gets to be seen anew.

So the next time you find yourself mentally labeling someone based on who they were a year ago or five: pause. Ask yourself: Who are they now?

Because maybe it’s not immaturity that’s holding them back. Maybe it’s their story we haven’t updated.

P.S. If your team is trying to level up its feedback culture, talent retention, or inclusive leadership mindset, this is an often overlooked issue that is worth addressing. Let’s talk about how to build teams that grow with their people, not past them.

What a 16-Year-Old Taught Me About Leadership

When Judith M Markgraf-Bye gave her 16-year-old son Erik a copy of my book The Sins and Wins of Inclusive Leadership, I assumed it would land the way leadership books usually land with teenagers: admired politely, skimmed lightly, maybe placed on a shelf next to school binders and video game controllers.

I did not expect to be humbled.

But Erik - calm, thoughtful, funny, and sharp - read it, reflected on it, and reached back out to me with insights that would put some seasoned executives to shame.

We had a conversation I’ll never forget. Here’s what he taught me.

“I want to be seen as a good guy.”

That’s how Erik started. When I asked what drew him to the book, he said:

“I like to motivate others... I want to be seen as a good guy. A person who cares about his friends - even strangers.”

He didn’t say he wanted to be “a boss.” He didn’t say he wanted to be in charge. He said he wanted to understand how others saw him, and learn to lead better from their perspective.

That’s not just emotional intelligence. That’s emotional maturity. And Erik’s generation is growing up with it baked in.

“Not everybody gets seen.”

Erik was struck by a story in the book about the importance of acknowledging someone’s experience. That story resonated because he sees the opposite happening at school:

“There are more quiet people in my class… and they often get set with assignments they don’t want to do. If somebody who doesn’t talk a lot doesn’t like drawing, they still get put on drawing.”

Instead of accepting that as “just the way school works,” Erik takes initiative. He seeks out classmates like Fredrik (not his real name) - someone quieter, less socially integrated - and talks to them one-on-one.

“I asked him, ‘What do you need from me? What can I do for you?’ He started talking a lot… he said, ‘I don’t want to do this. I’d much rather do this other part. I’m better at this.’ So I acknowledged what he was good at.”

That’s textbook inclusive leadership. From a 16-year-old.

“It’s really hard to make friends… especially for boys.”

When I asked Erik what inclusion meant to him, he didn’t skip a beat. He brought it straight to social life:

“In Norway, it can be really hard to make friends… especially at my age. The boys? They’re very bad at including people.”

He explained how fixed social groups become, how difficult it is to break into them, and how easy it is for someone to be left out, especially someone who doesn’t fit the mold.

“It’s often the same boys who go to parties together. They don’t like to include the smaller guys. And I think that’s such a stupid reason.”

He shared how one of his best friends was excluded from New Year’s Eve plans. So Erik invited him.

That’s the kind of allyship we often hope leaders will practice. Erik just does it.

“Be open to new ideas.”

Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Erik what advice he’d give a global CEO.

His answer?

“Be open to new ideas. The world is changing rapidly. If you learn new tools, you get an advantage.”

He used AI as an example, how embracing change, even when it’s uncomfortable, is a competitive advantage. His framing was future-oriented, optimistic, and practical. This is what we ask of senior leaders every day. Erik gets it.

Final Words

When I asked what kind of leader he wants to become, Erik didn’t say, “famous” or “powerful.”

He said:

“I want to build a good circle around me… I’ve been told that you become your circle. And if I’m surrounded by good people, nice people, people who have good values, I think that will help me achieve my goal.”

I’ve worked with thousands of leaders, executives, politicians, startup founders, and I mean this sincerely:

Erik is already one of them.

He doesn’t need a title. He already leads with empathy, initiative, and integrity.

And if this is the future of leadership, we’re in very good hands.

P.S. To everyone who’s ever handed this book to their child: thank you. I wrote it for CEOs. But it turns out some of the most powerful readers haven’t even graduated high school yet.

Let’s make room for them. They’re ready.

Turn Training into Gaming: Why Leaders Should Stop Making Learning a Chore

Let’s be honest: most corporate training programs are boring. They feel like punishment for having a job. And the worst part? They’re not even effective. People forget what they heard, resist what they’re told, and check out halfway through.

So how do we fix it?

We turn training into gaming.

I don’t mean slapping a leaderboard on a compliance course. I mean treating workplace learning like something people want to do. Something that sparks joy, drives behavior, and invites curiosity.

This isn’t about fun for fun’s sake. It’s about motivation science. And it’s about good design.

What Gamification Gets Right (That Training Often Doesn’t)

When done well, gamification taps into what I call the Compete, Complete, Delight framework:

⚔️ Compete: Not in a “crush your coworkers” way, but in a “challenge yourself” way. When people feel like they’re playing to win, they show up differently. They engage more fully. They take risks. They care.

🎯 Complete: It gives people clear goals and visible progress. Think levels, missions, or milestones that show what success looks like and why it matters.

🎈 Delight: This is the secret ingredient. Most training forgets the power of delight. Gamification adds surprise, humor, and creative expression, elements that stick with people long after the workshop ends.

Those aren’t just features of good games. They’re the backbone of good learning.

Inclusive by Design

What makes this even more powerful is that gamification - when done right - isn’t just engaging. It’s inclusive.

Games naturally accommodate different learning styles, personalities, and strengths. They create space for introverts to shine, for non-native speakers to participate, for people with varied abilities to contribute meaningfully.

In other words: when you design learning experiences with gamification principles, you’re not just making them more fun. You’re making them more fair.

A Case in Point: Nordic Tech United

In my course at Kristiania, I give students a fictional company called Nordic Tech United. Their challenge? Design a gamification strategy to increase collaboration, motivation, and inclusion across departments.

What do the best students come up with?

• Cross-team missions that blend marketing, R&D, and ops.

• Micro-badges for unexpected wins like “Best Listener” or “Silent MVP.”

• Leaderboards that track collaboration, not just competition.

They don’t just build games. They build culture.

What You Can Do Today

If you're running a team, designing a learning program, or rethinking employee engagement, try this:

• Audit your current trainings. Where are people disengaging?

• Inject one of the Compete Complete Delight elements. A point system? A progress tracker? A small, playful twist?

• Invite your employees to co-design the experience. (The best games are always user-tested.)

Final Thought

Learning shouldn’t feel like a lecture. It should feel like a quest.

So stop making training something people have to endure. Make it something they want to beat.

P.S. This article was inspired by a recent conversation with Canon EMEA’s Helga Schiermeier and draws directly from the Gamification & Inclusion module I teach at Kristiania University of Applied Sciences. If you’re reimagining how your company approaches learning and culture - especially in diverse teams - I’d love to chat.

From Cross-Functional to Cross-Cultural: The Overlooked Entry Point to DEI Skills

If your leaders know how to collaborate across departments, they already know how to practice inclusion. They just don’t call it that yet.

When we talk about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) it often feels abstract. Heavy. Politicized. Executives start squirming. Managers shut down. Teams disengage.

But here’s the truth: If you’ve ever worked on a cross-functional team, you’ve already practiced the core skills of inclusion.

Same Skills, New Context

Let’s say you’re in marketing, and you’re working with engineering.

You already know:

• You have to listen differently.

• You need to translate your language.

• You have to adjust your expectations.

• You probably won’t get it right the first time but you’re committed to the collaboration.

That’s not just project management. That’s inclusion in action.

Now replace “engineering” with “a colleague from a different culture.” Or “a woman navigating a male-dominated room.” Or “someone who’s neurodivergent or LGBTQ+.”

The skills are the same:

• Decentering your perspective.

• Listening for what’s not being said.

• Adapting your communication style.

• Creating space for other voices to shape the outcome.

Inclusion isn’t an HR initiative. It’s a professional skillset. One we’re already using, we just haven’t named it as such.

Why This Reframe Matters

Many leaders resist DEI because it feels like “extra” work. But when you show them it’s the same skillset they already use to collaborate across disciplines, they stop resisting and start recognizing.

This reframing turns theory into action. It moves inclusion from “a value” to “a behavior.”

It also makes it scalable. Because now you’re not waiting for everyone to become a social justice expert, you’re just teaching them how to be better teammates.

So How Do You Make It Stick?

Here’s how you can start translating cross-functional skills into cross-cultural ones:

🎯 Teach Transferability: Help leaders map what they already do (e.g., navigating product vs. legal) onto more human-centered contexts (e.g., navigating gender or culture differences).

🎧 Normalize Listening as a Strategy: Treat listening not as passivity but as an active, essential leadership function.

🔁 Practice Decentering: Shift the lens from “how I see it” to “how they might experience it”, a key move in both team and identity inclusion.

💬 Make Feedback Loops Inclusive: Create channels that allow for diverse perspectives to shape process, not just react to outcomes.

Inclusion Isn’t a Leap. It’s a Lateral Move.

If your team knows how to navigate the friction of finance vs. creative, or compliance vs. customer experience, they already have what it takes to build inclusive teams.

They just need help seeing it.

P.S. I’ve been working with leaders across tech, pharma, education, and consulting who are burned out on theory but hungry for real tools. If you’re building leadership programs that want less jargon and more skill, let’s talk.

Resilience Rises with Inclusive Leadership

Supporting the well-being of employees isn’t just the right thing to do—it’s essential for organizational resilience and success. Inclusive leadership is the secret sauce for creating workplaces that foster physical, mental, and emotional health. Research is crystal clear: when leaders embrace inclusivity, they build not only healthier teams but also a more adaptable, innovative, and successful organization.

Why Well-Being and Resilience Matter

The recently published Inclusive Leadership Trends for 2025 highlights the transformative power of inclusive leadership. Inclusive leaders actively reduce workplace stress, empower flexibility, and address both mental and physical health needs with practices like psychological safety, equitable resource distribution, and flexible work arrangements. The result? Reduced burnout, fewer conflicts, and happier, more productive teams.

This isn’t just about feel-good moments—it’s about tangible, measurable outcomes. Companies led by inclusive leaders see higher retention rates, increased innovation, and a stronger bottom line. By integrating these leadership principles, organizations set the foundation for resilience that helps them thrive amid challenges.

How the White Paper Helps Leaders

Here’s what leaders can gain from diving into this white paper:

• Strategies for Boosting Employee Well-Being: Practical approaches to creating safe, supportive environments that prioritize mental and physical health.

• Conflict Management Tools: Proven methods for reducing workplace tension and fostering collaboration.

• Actionable Insights for Resilience: Data-driven guidance to build adaptable, high-performing teams.

Lesson Learned

When leaders choose inclusion, resilience becomes the conclusion. Inclusive leadership isn’t just an ideal—it’s a practical path to thriving workplaces.

P.S.

The white paper Inclusive Leadership Trends for 2025 is packed with insights and actionable strategies. Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Download the white paper here. And let me know what resonates with you most—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Inclusion Isn’t a Concept—It’s a Capability

We’ve made inclusion too theoretical.

Most DEI efforts still focus on concepts: psychological safety, implicit bias, belonging. And don’t get me wrong—these are vital for research, policy, and awareness. But if we’re serious about change, we need to stop thinking inclusion and start doing it.

Because here’s the truth: inclusion isn’t a concept—it’s a capability.

This became crystal clear to me while listening to Britt Hogue on the ROI of DEI podcast with Vikram Shetty. They unpacked what many of us know but rarely say aloud: conceptual awareness doesn’t translate to behavioral change. Skills do.

Why Concepts Aren’t Enough

Knowing about bias doesn’t mean you interrupt it. Understanding psychological safety doesn’t mean you create it. Reading a DEI book doesn’t mean you’re an inclusive leader.

And yet, so many DEI programs stop at the cognitive layer—leaving leaders with language but no tools, good intentions but no muscle memory.

What we need is a skills-first approach that teaches leaders how to:

🔹 Listen actively, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

🔹 Decenter themselves in meetings, feedback, and decision-making.

🔹 Create space where others can speak, shape, and share—even if it slows the process down.

These are behaviors. You can observe them. You can measure them. And most importantly—you can teach them.

How I’m Making It Real

This isn’t just theory for me—it’s practice.

In my university classrooms, I don’t lecture on definitions of inclusion. I teach my students how to show up inclusively: how to challenge with care, how to design meetings for equity, how to notice who’s missing from the table.

And in the corporate world? Same approach. We don’t sit around discussing research. We build leadership capability from the ground up—with tools, scripts, scenarios, and skills.

I’m especially proud to be working with Women in Life Science Norway (WILD) right now to design a program that ditches the theory overload and instead helps leaders practice real inclusion in real moments.

Key Takeaways

✅ Inclusion is behavioral, not just conceptual.

✅ Skills—not knowledge—are what make inclusion stick.

✅ If your DEI work doesn’t change how leaders act, it’s not working.

Lesson Learned

Talking about inclusion doesn’t make you inclusive. Doing the work does.

If we want leaders to lead differently, we have to train them differently.

P.S.

I’d highly recommend this episode of the ROI of DEI podcast featuring Britt Hogue. It’s bold, practical, and honest—just like the DEI work we need more of.

And if you're ready to equip your leaders with the capabilities that actually change culture, let’s talk. 👉 inclusiveleadership.solutions

This Is Why Pregnancy Algorithms Must Evolve

What happens when a clinical tool is considered “accurate” - but only for some people

That’s the uncomfortable truth behind Norway’s eSnurra algorithm for pregnancy dating. It was designed to improve consistency and precision. But here's the catch: eSnurra was built on data from a population that doesn’t reflect the full diversity of Norway today.

And that raises a critical question: How inclusive is a standard if it was never validated for everyone?

Where the Problem Starts

eSnurra was developed in 2007 using data from ~40,000 pregnancies, mostly white, mostly from Trondheim. It uses ultrasound measurements to estimate due dates and fetal growth. Sounds scientific. Sounds neutral.

But science isn’t neutral when it overlooks the populations it’s supposed to serve.

And here's where things get dangerous: 📍 📚 All ultrasound midwives in Norway are trained at NTNU in Trondheim. And they’re being taught that eSnurra is the best method, without being taught about its data limitations, its bias, or its lack of validation for non-white populations.

That’s not just a clinical gap - it’s a failure in evidence-based teaching.

Why It Matters

Different racial and ethnic groups have documented variations in fetal growth patterns and gestational length. Ignoring that means eSnurra may misclassify gestational age for certain groups, especially people of African, South Asian, or Middle Eastern backgrounds.

That misclassification can have consequences:

• Misclassification of gestational age

• Missed preterm risks

• Unnecessary inductions or emergency C-sections

• Increased maternal and neonatal complications

• Erosion of trust among marginalized patients

And when future midwives are taught one tool, one dataset, one “truth,” without the full context, we’re not teaching them how to provide inclusive care - we’re training them to perpetuate bias.

All because the algorithm wasn’t made to see everyone. That’s not evidence-based medicine. That’s an algorithm taught as a belief system.

What Inclusion in Healthcare Actually Requires

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: 📊 Inclusion isn’t just about access to care. It’s about whether the tools, data, and decisions within that care reflect the people receiving it.

Clinical algorithms must be validated for diverse populations. Not just once. Not just in a footnote. But as a standard of evidence-based practice.

A Truly Inclusive Approach Would Involve:

• Publishing the demographic breakdown of training data.

• Conducting follow-up studies for underrepresented populations.

• Teaching healthcare professionals to critically assess the tools they use.

Norway has the scientific capacity to lead here. But only if it moves beyond local expertise and acknowledges the national—and increasingly international diversity it serves.

Key Takeaways

• Inclusion requires scrutiny, not just standardization.

• Teaching unvalidated tools as universal truths puts patients at risk.

• If we want inclusive healthcare, we need evidence-based medicine and evidence-based education.

Lesson Learned

A clinical standard that isn’t inclusive isn’t a standard - it’s a shortcut. And shortcuts don’t belong in maternal care.

P.S.

This issue is bigger than algorithms. It’s about who gets seen, heard, and served in our systems. If you're working in healthcare policy, public health, or digital health innovation, let’s collaborate to center equity from the start.

📩 inclusiveleadership.solutions

And if you want to dig deeper into what inclusive leadership looks like in practice, check out Inclusive Leadership Trends for 2025. It’s packed with insights on the intersection of inclusion, data, and decision-making.

Facts Don’t Stick - Feelings Do

We’ve all been in classrooms where the slides are clean, the syllabus is clear, and the room is… flat.

Because while traditional pedagogy emphasizes content delivery, real learning happens through emotional connection.

This semester, alongside my colleagues at Kristiania University of Applied Sciences , I've been exploring how to move beyond “engagement” as a checkbox and into what I consider advanced pedagogy.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

What We’re Not Teaching Educators (But Should Be)

Most pedagogy courses cover active learning, flipped classrooms, or assessment theory. Useful, but surface-level.

Advanced pedagogy, especially in leadership education, requires something more:

• 🎤 Stage presence – Knowing how to hold attention, modulate energy, and lead a room.

• 📖 Storytelling – Using narratives to build empathy and embed learning in memory.

• 😂 Intentional humor – Not just icebreakers, but skillful levity that opens minds, lowers defenses, and makes concepts memorable.

These aren’t “soft skills.” They’re high-impact teaching tools, and they belong in the same conversation as learning outcomes and instructional design.

What Emotional Engagement Looks Like

In my course on leadership, we focus on connection first - connection to self, others, and ideas.

• 🪑 We sit together, not in rows.

• 🎙️ We discuss discomfort, not just definitions.

• 🎭 We make space for humor, reflection, and vulnerability - all in service of learning that sticks.

And it works. Here’s what students shared on their final exam when asked what they learned that wasn’t directly asked of them:

• 🗣️ “That how you work and nurture relationships reflects your leadership.”

• 🗣️ “That good leaders are mostly good humans.”

• 🗣️ “To care about learning more than a grade - it changed how I show up.”

• 🗣️ “That comedy in class made learning fun—and memorable.”

From Technique to Transformation

We often talk about innovation in education as a tech problem. But sometimes, it’s a teaching problem.

If we want to grow ethical, emotionally intelligent leaders, we need to:

• ✅ Include emotional growth in learning outcomes.

• ✅ Train educators in stagecraft, storytelling, and intentional humor.

• ✅ Build communities of practice that make emotional pedagogy sustainable - not dependent on one “inspiring” teacher.

P.S.

I'm grateful to Kristiania University of Applied Sciences for creating an environment where this kind of experimentation is not only allowed but encouraged.

Thanks to Eivind Brevik , Tor Morten Grønli , and Knut-Eric Joslin for supporting this direction.

If you’re a fellow educator - or someone who still remembers a class that changed your life - what made it stick? Let’s talk. 👇👇👇

This Is Why Inclusion Isn’t a Gotcha Game

We’ve all seen it happen.

Someone says the wrong thing in a meeting. Uses outdated language in a public talk. Fumbles through a question that’s clumsy but clearly not malicious.

And instead of a thoughtful correction or a compassionate cue, what happens? A smug retort. An eye roll. A post later that day: “Can you believe they said that?”

Let’s be honest. Sometimes inclusion gets treated like a game of “gotcha.” And that’s a problem.

Inclusion Requires Precision, But Also Perspective

Let me be clear: language matters.

When we’re talking about people’s identities, lived experiences, or communities they belong to, we need to be precise. Terms evolve, and so does our responsibility to use them well.

But we need to draw a line between insisting on precision and weaponizing it. Because when we turn every misstep into a moment of public correction or shame, we’re not practicing inclusion. We’re performing superiority.

Where This Goes Wrong

I’ve seen brilliant, well-intentioned leaders - people trying to learn - get burned by a single awkward phrase.

Not because they meant harm. But because someone else wanted to prove they knew better.

It looks like:

• Publicly correcting someone without context or care.

• Mocking old-school terminology without offering better language.

• Calling out in ways that alienate instead of invite.

These tactics don’t build bridges. They burn beginners.

What Real Inclusive Leadership Looks Like

True inclusion isn’t about gatekeeping knowledge. It’s about widening the circle.

That means:

• Correcting gently - and in private, when possible

• Offering alternatives without moralizing

• Asking: “What did you mean by that?” before assuming intent

• Modeling inclusive behavior instead of policing others

The Caveat That Matters

If someone misnames your identity, uses a slur, or dismisses your humanity - speak up. You have every right to name harm when it happens. Inclusion should never mean silence in the face of disrespect.

But we shouldn’t conflate clumsiness with cruelty. Most people aren’t trying to offend - they’re trying to get it right in a world that is continuously evolving.

Lesson Learned

Inclusion isn’t a gotcha game. It’s a growth practice. And when we give people the grace to keep learning, we build a culture where more people feel safe to show up and try.

P.S.

If you're a leader, educator, or inclusion advocate - ask yourself: Are you making people feel small for not knowing something yet? Or are you making room for them to grow?

Let’s talk about how we build cultures of accountability without shame. 👉 inclusiveleadership.solutions

This Is Why You Don’t Have a Feedback Problem, You Have a Leadership Problem

Let’s get one thing straight: If your leaders aren’t accountable, you do not have a feedback culture.

You can have suggestion boxes. You can have “open door policies.” You can end every all-hands meeting by saying, “We welcome your input.”

But if your leadership team isn’t visibly listening, making space, acting on feedback, and co-creating solutions with the people they serve, then what you’ve built isn’t feedback culture: It’s a performance.

And it’s not just ineffective. It’s toxic.

The Line in the Sand

This article isn’t about nuance. It’s about a red line. And here it is:

You cannot create a culture of feedback without leadership accountability. If your leaders aren’t accountable, your feedback culture is a lie. And if your team doesn’t trust that leadership will listen and respond, your company is - by definition - toxic.

Harsh? Maybe. But not as harsh as the reality your team is living through if this is their workplace.

Why Feedback Culture Fails Without Accountability

When employees are asked for feedback and nothing changes, they don’t just disengage. They lose trust. They stop contributing. And the smartest ones, the ones who see clearly and speak up, leave first.

What follows is predictable:

• Innovation dries up.

• Performance dips.

• Reputation tanks.

• Attrition climbs.

You can’t workshop your way out of that. You need leadership to show up differently.

What Minimum Accountability Looks Like

This isn’t about perfection. This is about non-negotiables. Here’s what baseline leadership accountability must include if you want real feedback culture:

1. Listening. Not just hearing words, but actually receiving them. Without defensiveness. Without spin.

2. Holding space. Creating environments where people feel safe to speak, even critically, and know they won’t be punished for it.

3. Acting on feedback. Not performative gestures. Not vague promises. Real, visible action tied to what people say.

4. Collaborating on solutions. Feedback shouldn’t be a drop-box. It should be the beginning of a co-created process of change.

That’s the floor. Not the ceiling.

You Can’t Fake This

You can’t have one anonymous survey and say you’re listening. You can’t change one policy and say you’re responsive. You can’t run a town hall and say you’re transparent.

People know when leadership is just checking boxes. And when they do, they stop trusting, and stop talking.

Lesson Learned

Accountability isn’t a feature of feedback culture. It’s the foundation. If your leaders won’t take responsibility, your culture won’t evolve. It will erode: quietly, steadily, and completely.

P.S.

If you're serious about building a culture of feedback, start by asking your leadership team this question:

When was the last time we asked for feedback and actually changed something as a result?

If the answer is “I’m not sure,” then you already know what needs to change.

Let’s talk. 👉 inclusiveleadership.solutions

"I’ve Never Gotten a Complaint in Five Years”

At first glance, it sounds like a badge of honor. A leader says, “I’ve never gotten a complaint in five years.” Cue the applause… right?

Not so fast.

In today’s workplaces, a lack of complaints isn’t proof of strong leadership, it’s often a red flag that your people don’t feel safe to speak up. Silence, after all, doesn’t mean satisfaction. It often means fear.

🧨 When Silence Speaks Louder Than Words

Eight of my students in leadership responsed to the prompt, "A leader says ‘I’ve never gotten a complaint in five years.’ Sounds great, but is it a red flag?". As future leaders, they argued that leaders who receive no critical feedback for years are likely operating in a culture of fear, disengagement, or learned helplessness.

Here’s why it matters:

• No feedback = no trust. If employees don’t feel safe to speak up, they won’t. That’s not harmony, it’s hesitation.

• Surface calm hides deeper issues. From toxic leadership to favoritism, unspoken problems fester when people are afraid of consequences.

• Innovation suffers. Teams without trust rarely take risks, speak up, or share bold ideas.

• Attrition climbs. People eventually leave environments where their voice doesn’t matter.

“If you have an open-door policy but no one walks through it, the issue might not be the door, it’s the leader behind it.”

✅ What Trust Actually Looks Like

One respondent offered a more nuanced view: maybe, just maybe, a complaint-free track record reflects a truly healthy, proactive culture. But even then, the only way to know is to actively measure psychological safety.

So what should leaders do instead?

• Model vulnerability. Admit when you’re wrong. Show your own growth.

• Normalize feedback. Make feedback part of your rhythm, not just performance reviews.

• De-center yourself. Create space for others to speak without judgment or ego.

• Validate vulnerability. Don’t just “hear” the feedback, hold space for the emotion behind it.

• Co-create change. Feedback without action is just lip service.

A culture of feedback doesn’t begin with employee courage. It begins with leadership accountability.

Final Thought

If your team never speaks up, don’t celebrate, it might be time to look in the mirror.

P.S.

If you’re serious about building trust, feedback, and inclusive leadership in your organization, let’s talk. I help leadership teams go beyond lip service and build real cultures of accountability. Or start by downloading my free white paper, Inclusive Leadership Trends for 2025 for practical, research-backed steps to get started. 📩

What If Listening Is the Most Radical Leadership Skill?

“Shut up so they don’t shut down.”

It’s the line I say most on stage and the one that gets repeated back to me months (sometimes years) after a keynote. Not because it’s shocking, but because it lands. Hard.

Because in the organizations I work with, from tech to consulting, finance to automotive, there’s one leadership failure that shows up again and again:

Leaders don’t listen.

Not deeply. Not actively. Not in a way that creates psychological safety or opens the door to innovation. They nod. They tolerate. They move on. And in the worst cases, they ignore, try to fix, or deny a problem exists.

And that’s a problem. A big one. Because the world of work has changed but many of our leadership models haven’t.

The Military-Bureaucratic Hangover

Historically, leaders were meant to command, and teams were meant to execute. Military officers. Senior bureaucrats. The blueprint was top-down, clarity-through-control.

Our schools and training programs still reflect that. We reward polish, decisiveness, vision. We reward speaking, not listening.

But now? Leadership exists in a different ecosystem. One where change is constant, ambiguity is the norm, and your “direct reports” are just as likely to hold the insights that will save the company from irrelevance.

Leadership today isn’t about having the answer. It’s about hearing the answer when someone else offers it.

What Listening Actually Looks Like

When I talk about listening as a leadership skill, I don’t mean passive silence. I mean something active. Disruptive, even.

Real listening requires:

• Holding space without interruption or defensiveness

• Decentering yourself, letting the conversation be about them, not you

• Responding in ways that reflect understanding, acknowledgment is the starting point

• Acting on what you’ve heard, not shelving it in a Slack channel graveyard

These aren’t soft skills. They’re high-stakes competencies that determine whether your culture is brave or broken.

Why It’s So Rare

The most common thing I hear from clients?

“We want to build a feedback culture.”

But when you dig deeper, you find executives who equate feedback with disloyalty. Managers who punish truth-telling. Leaders who don’t just fail to listen, they actively shut down the people trying to speak up.

So what do you get? Silence. Numbness. Risk aversion. “No complaints” becomes the new red flag.

It’s not that your people don’t have insights. It’s that you’ve created a culture where saying them out loud feels unsafe or pointless.

Listening as Innovation

Here’s where I want to challenge the frame.

We talk about innovation in terms of product, process, and tech. But what if one of the most radical innovations in leadership today is… learning how to listen?

What if the leaders most equipped for today’s challenges aren’t the ones who speak with power but the ones who create space for power to emerge?

What if “shutting up” isn’t about silence but about presence?

Minimum Accountability for Listening Leaders

If you say you want feedback culture, here’s your bare minimum accountability as a leader:

• Listen without defensiveness.

• Hold space for others to be real, not just polite.

• Act on what you hear or explain why you can’t.

• Collaborate, don’t just dictate.

That’s not optional. That’s the new baseline. Because the cost of not doing it is too high: lost talent, lost trust, and lost opportunities you’ll never even hear about.

A Final Thought

The best leaders today aren’t the loudest. They’re the ones who listen so well that other people start speaking truth they didn’t even know they had.

Shut up so they don’t shut down.

Let that be more than a line. Let it be a line in the sand.

P.S. This is one of the most requested topics I get booked to speak on, and it continues to be a living issue across every industry I work with. If your leadership team is ready to practice listening, not just preach it, let’s talk. 📩 inclusiveleadership.solutions

And if you haven’t read it yet, the Inclusive Leadership Trends for 2025 white paper dives deeper into why emotional intelligence, humility, and inclusive communication are not side skills, they’re the leadership engine of the future.

Do Women Get a Fair Shake in Thesis Defenses?

Okay. Bear with me.

We’ve taken steps to remove bias in pitches, blind auditions saved orchestras, anonymized CVs reshaped hiring, and nameless grading boosted fairness. But when high-stakes academic pitches like Master’s and PhD thesis defenses are on the line, women step in fully visible: names, voices, demeanors, all in view. With no anonymity, there’s no filter for bias.

So let’s ask the hard question: Are these defenses truly fair?

🔍 What the Research Reveals

Emerging evidence indicates gender disparities in academic evaluations:

• A Dutch study of cum laude PhD distinctions found women were significantly less likely to be awarded honors, even when controlling for quality.

• Stanford research analyzing ~1 million dissertations discovered women’s work labeled “feminine” (e.g., about parenting or relationships) was less likely to yield prestigious positions.

• Studies also show the broader phenomenon: “feminized” topics, or work perceived as feminine, are devalued across academia.

In short: gender bias doesn’t vanish just because the venue is academic, and it can even be amplified.

🎓 Where Defense Norms Go Wrong

Defenses are pitch moments: candidates present, answer questions, demonstrate mastery, while navigating boards of senior academics. There’s no hiding gender.

Candidates may face:

• Different questioning: Women might get more skeptical questions than men.

• Demeanor bias: Expressiveness or confidence can be judged differently based on gender.

• Assessment criteria: Without structured rubrics, defense evaluations rely on subjective impressions.

These vulnerabilities can tilt outcomes, even when performance is equal.

✅ What Fair Should Look Like

We don’t need to reimagine defenses, just rethink structures:

1. Standardized rubrics: Objective criteria focused on research quality.

2. Awareness training: Committees should engage with research on gender bias in evaluations.

3. Diverse committees: Gender-balanced panels reduce implicit bias.

4. Post-defense surveys: Anonymous feedback on candidates’ experience can highlight bias.

Fair defense isn’t just symbolic, it’s measurable and fixable.

🔧 What You Can Do

• Institutions: Introduce doctorates to bias evidence and implement rubrics/rating scales.

• Students: Don’t gloss over disparities, collect stories, ask about defense formats.

• Committees: Ask yourselves: Am I listening to ideas or auditing performance?

💡 Lesson Learned

A thesis defense isn’t just an academic rite, it’s a career gate. If we want true excellence and equity, we need to guard against bias, especially when women speak openly and confidently. Structural fairness isn’t optional. In defense, as in hiring or funding, women deserve every ounce of it.

P.S.

Have you experienced or witnessed a biased thesis defense or evaluation? I’d like to hear. Sharing stories is the first step toward reform.