When They Say “I Support Inclusion, Just Not at Work”

We’ve all met them. Colleagues who believe in fairness, equality, and doing the right thing, but who get visibly uncomfortable when diversity or inclusion shows up in a workplace context.

They’re not hostile. They’re hesitant. And if you push too hard, too fast, they shut down.

So what do you do? You shut up. So they don’t.

That’s the zinger I use on stage, and it applies here more than ever.

Because these conversations aren’t about convincing enemies. They’re about collaborating with people who are already halfway there, but risk-sensitive. People who need a bridge, not a lecture.

First: Mindset Matters

Before you even open your mouth, check your assumptions. This isn’t a debate. It’s a design process.

🧠 Assume goodwill. Treat your colleague like an ally who’s weighing risk, not an opponent who’s rejecting values.

👂 Lead with listening. Ask, “What’s your concern?” before jumping in with a solution.

🤝 Design together. Offer a small, specific experiment they can own, not a manifesto they have to sign up for.

The Objection Playbook

Here’s how to reframe common concerns in a way that lowers defensiveness and raises curiosity.

🎯 “Work should be apolitical.” “Totally get that. Hiring, safety, promotions, these are already choices. Let’s just make them transparent so work stays fair and calm.”

🛠️ “HR handles this.” “HR sets the policy. And you and I run the meetings. Let’s tweak how we run them so people contribute faster and with less confusion.”

⏱️ “We don’t have time for this.” “Same here. That’s why this isn’t a new meeting, it’s 60 seconds inside the meetings we already have.”

💥 “Talking about identity will divide us.” “I hear you, I'm not one for heavy topics, let’s just tune our process, for example one voice at a time and one new voice before seconds. Two weeks, then we keep or drop.”

⚖️ “We already treat everyone the same.” “Love that. Let’s prove it. We’ll run a simple turn-taking rule and a decision checklist. Then see if speaking time and follow-ups are balanced.”

What Not to Do

❌ Don’t debate ideology. Stick to tasks, risks, and results. Inclusion is a workplace design challenge, not a political identity.

❌ Don’t data dump. One stat or story is plenty. This is about engagement, not evidence.

❌ Don’t moralize. Co-design the experiment. Give them ownership of one step. That’s how you build buy-in.

It’s Not About Belief. It’s About Behavior.

You don’t need your whole team to become DEI experts. You need them to test what works.

And most of the time, inclusion isn’t about more meetings, bigger policies, or splashy campaigns. It’s about small, repeatable actions that reduce friction and increase trust.

So the next time someone says, “I’m all for it… just not at work,” Don’t argue.

Invite them in. With one small step they can try, own, and refine.

Because when inclusion becomes a shared experiment, not a moral performance, everyone moves faster.

P.S. This playbook isn’t for the people who say inclusion is nonsense. It’s for the people who believe in it but feel cautious, unsure, or overstretched. Let’s give them tools that meet them where they are.