This Is Why Inclusion Isn’t a Gotcha Game
We’ve all seen it happen.
Someone says the wrong thing in a meeting. Uses outdated language in a public talk. Fumbles through a question that’s clumsy but clearly not malicious.
And instead of a thoughtful correction or a compassionate cue, what happens? A smug retort. An eye roll. A post later that day: “Can you believe they said that?”
Let’s be honest. Sometimes inclusion gets treated like a game of “gotcha.” And that’s a problem.
Inclusion Requires Precision, But Also Perspective
Let me be clear: language matters.
When we’re talking about people’s identities, lived experiences, or communities they belong to, we need to be precise. Terms evolve, and so does our responsibility to use them well.
But we need to draw a line between insisting on precision and weaponizing it. Because when we turn every misstep into a moment of public correction or shame, we’re not practicing inclusion. We’re performing superiority.
Where This Goes Wrong
I’ve seen brilliant, well-intentioned leaders - people trying to learn - get burned by a single awkward phrase.
Not because they meant harm. But because someone else wanted to prove they knew better.
It looks like:
Publicly correcting someone without context or care.
Mocking old-school terminology without offering better language.
Calling out in ways that alienate instead of invite.
These tactics don’t build bridges. They burn beginners.
What Real Inclusive Leadership Looks Like
True inclusion isn’t about gatekeeping knowledge. It’s about widening the circle.
That means:
Correcting gently - and in private, when possible
Offering alternatives without moralizing
Asking: “What did you mean by that?” before assuming intent
Modeling inclusive behavior instead of policing others
The Caveat That Matters
If someone misnames your identity, uses a slur, or dismisses your humanity - speak up. You have every right to name harm when it happens. Inclusion should never mean silence in the face of disrespect.
But we shouldn’t conflate clumsiness with cruelty. Most people aren’t trying to offend - they’re trying to get it right in a world that is continuously evolving.
Lesson Learned
Inclusion isn’t a gotcha game. It’s a growth practice. And when we give people the grace to keep learning, we build a culture where more people feel safe to show up and try.
P.S.
If you're a leader, educator, or inclusion advocate - ask yourself: Are you making people feel small for not knowing something yet? Or are you making room for them to grow?
Let’s talk about how we build cultures of accountability without shame. 👉 inclusiveleadership.solutions
